Wed, 13 July 2016
Lifelong childhood friends Tom Stewart and John W. Curren discuss blame. How to take responsibility for our actions and not blame others for where we are in life. Racism and the divide in the United States is also discussed. How can we change ourselves and our own prejudice.
BLAME IS LAME askita episode 66
It will keep you personally responsible for your own actions - you are ultimately responsible for how much progress you make every day. Evaluate yourself and get rid of excuses.
helps you measure your success and progress.
It can help you silence the devil on your shoulder that whispers doubtful messages in your ear.
Find a partner who will hold you accountable
Get a coach or a mentor to help you along the way. Mentors - They do not have to be an expert. Sometimes they can be just a little further along than you. Sometimes it is just someone who you can relate to that will call you out when you start making excuses for yourself.
Make the Habit a Priority
Research what it is you want to change about yourself.
Start small – small wins lead to big changes
Write it down
Accept failure and learn from it. Fall down, stand up, repeat.
Blame- there is a lesson to be learned in all failure.
Admit responsibility that you might have helped create the problem. Where you are now is often a direct result of your own choices and how you chose to react to certain situations.
Let go of the problem and focus on how to solve it or avoid the issue next time.
I’m gonna make a change, for once in my life
It’s gonna feel real good, gonna make a difference
Gonna make it right... m starting with the man in the mirror
I’m asking him to change his ways. Michael Jacksons Man in the mirror.
"All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you. The only thing blame does is to keep the focus off you when you are looking for external reasons to explain your unhappiness or frustration. You may succeed in making another feel guilty about something by blaming him, but you won't succeed in changing whatever it is about you that is making you unhappy." — Wayne Dyer
Fri, 1 July 2016
Episode 65. Lifelong childhood friends Tom Stewart and John Curren discuss how uncertainty keeps you from reaching your true potential.
Definition - Uncertainty is the situation which involves imperfect and/or unknown information. Is there a genuine decision to be made, or are you just postponing the inevitable? clearly identify what the decision to be made is. Investigate to the best of your ability and surrender to what ever comes your way. The Buddha taught that mental suffering arises out of ignorance. By “ignorance” he meant the misperceptions and delusions that your mind has about its own nature. The most common decisions they present are about whether to take a new job, have a baby, leave a relationship, attend a school or make a purchase. 1. re-connect to the reasons WHY you are doing what you are doing and how it will make you feel when you have achieved it. 2. Have faith and believe in yourself. Trust your intuition. 3. Accept that we all are subject to uncertainty. We can not predict the future, it is fluid and unpredictable even for the most well put together individuals. Come to grips with that fact that some things are out of your control. 4. Keep moving towards your goals. In BJJ one of our mantras is keep moving. 5. Keep perspective. One event has nothing to do with the rest of your life. It’s easy to put things together, make assumptions and imagine that the Universe is conspiring against you. 6. Don’t Take Things Personally and keep your emotions in check. 7. Take Accountability 8. Feel the fear and do it anyways. Avoiding unpredictable situations might cheat you of opportunities.
Tue, 7 June 2016
Lifelong childhood friends Tom Stewart and John Curren discuss living life on your own terms on A Swift Kick In The Ass podcast episode 64.
It is not about living on a beach with a laptop making buttloads of money. Money is a factor, control your debt. Money is just a tool. Do not follow the herd mentality. Create a mind set to live life on your own terms. Keep inspirational pictures, trinkets or songs around you to keep you on the path. Develop respect for yourself and others. Contribute not for applause but for a sincere need to help others.
Tue, 31 May 2016
Episode 63 The Irishman Who Can’t Drink Beer Or Eat Potatoes. Life long childhood friends Tom Stewart and John Curren discuss Asking Questions when you really don’t want to know the Answer”?
We all say we want to make changes in our life and often seek the answer to how will we change…What happens when you get an answer that you really don’t want to follow through with?
My personal story concerns these food allergies...The allergist says I am allergic to Brewers yeast/beer and wine, potatoes, chicken, milk….If I had not found this out, I would have just keep eating these things and been complacent.
Same holds true for asking people their opinions when you aren’t really going to listen.
Wed, 11 May 2016
Lifelong childhood friends Tom Stewart and John Curren discuss ho to Get Your Ass Off The Couch - A Quick Fix For Complacency
Episode 62 A Swift Kick In The Ass Podcast
Wed, 27 April 2016
Life long childhood friends Tom Stewart and John Curren discuss friendship. How is friendship like dogs and chilli? Why it is difficult to maintain many close friends. What are the main characteristics of a friendship and how to keep them going. Building trust and having fun. Being honest with your friends and how to end a friendship if necessary.
Thu, 7 April 2016
ASKITA episode 60. Lifelong childhood friends Tom Stewart and John Curren discuss how environment and peers can determine success.
Chillin like a villain. We are pack animals, so who is in your pack? Love your family and your friends but pick your peers.
Jim Rohn says that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. Get involved in social groups, church, synagogue, community, school, sports etc.. to get around other positive minded people.
Join meetup groups or online forums to find like minded people. Imaginary council with a mastermind of your own team could do wonders.
Clean and organize your home and workspace. Open the window or get good lights, hang art and photos. Surround your self with positive quotes or inspirational images.
Avoid the unhappy and unlucky. Do not continue toxic relationships at work or at home.
Listen to positive podcasts and audio books. Chill with some good music. Get a coach to help you.
Organize your kitchen to help eat healthier. Create an area or join a gym to get in shape.
Tue, 29 March 2016
Lifelong childhood friends Tom Stewart and John Curren discuss how keeping score can help you predict future results. The final part of the gamification series.
Learn how keeping track of goals using a journal or log book can help you keep moving forward without slowly back pedaling. The difference between keeping score with yourself and competition. How not to keep score in relationships with others.
----Listen to the podcast on iTunes---
Sun, 6 March 2016
Part 2 in the gamification series - Goals. Episode 58 Grabbing Goals By The Short Hairs discusses how to set realistic and reachable goals. John talks about how he was able to pull himself out of 90 Thousand dollars of debt by setting financial goals with his wife. There goal was to have money in the bank and not owe anyone anything.
Tom recounts seven steps laid out in Brian Tracy's book "No Excuses"
List obstacles, skills and knowledge you will need to acquire, make a list of people whose cooperation and support you will require to reach your goal, continue to add to the list that will help you achieve the goal
John explains the differences between goals, objectives and strategy.
Sun, 28 February 2016
A Swift Kick In The Ass podcast episode 57. Lifelong childhood friends Tom Stewart and John Curren discuss the rules of personal change. This is the first in a series on how gamification applies to personal change. This first part discusses the rules of personal change and how to break them if necessary.
Found on psychologytoday.com
The 10 Rules of Change- Change isn't easy, but it is possible: an expert offers 10 rules to change. by Stan Goldberg, Ph.D
All Behaviors Are Complex
Strategy: Break down the behavior. Almost all behaviors can be broken down. Separate your desired behavior into smaller, self-contained units.
Change Is scary – It can result in clinging to status quo behaviors.
Strategy: Examine the consequences. Compare all possible consequences of both your status quo and desired behaviors. If there are more positive results associated with the new behavior, your fears of the unknown are unwarranted.
Strategy: Prepare your observers. New behaviors can frighten the people observing them, so introduce them slowly.
Strategy: Be realistic. Unrealistic goals increase fear. Fear increases the probability of failure.
Change Must Be Positive - research demonstrates, reinforcement-not punishment-is necessary for permanent change.
Strategy: Enjoy the act. Intrinsic reinforcement occurs when the act is reinforcing.
Strategy: Admire the outcome.
Strategy: Reward yourself
Strategy: Take baby steps
Strategy: Simplify the process
Strategy: Prepare for problems
Slower Is Better
Strategy: Establish calm
Strategy: Appreciate the path
Know More, Do Better - Surprise spells disaster for people seeking change. Knowing more about the process allows more control over it.
Strategy: Monitor your behaviors
Strategy: Request feedback
Strategy: Understand the outcome
Change Requires Structure
Strategy: Identify what works
Strategy: Revisit your plan regularly
Strategy: Logically sequence events
Practice Is Necessary
Strategy: Use helpers
Strategy: Practice in many settings. I did this with my diet coke addiction, testing myself while out to eat, at parties, with specific foods that I always wanted with a diet coke.
New Behaviors Must Be Protected. Even when flawlessly performed, new behaviors are fragile and disappear if unprotected.
Strategy: Control your environment
Strategy: Use memory aides. Because a new behavior is neither familiar nor automatic, it's easy to forget. Anything that helps memory is beneficial.
Small Successes Are Big
Strategy: Map your success. Approach each step as a separate mission and you'll eventually arrive at the end goal.